life is so fucked up

im so depressed,sad and lonely..im goiing to burst out any moment now..i dont know why im feeling this way..i just wanna be close to my loved ones..i need my bf so much,he knows how to comfort me but that just gonna add to my ongoing list of sins..im feeling so ignore,so left behind..as if people r speaking a language i dont speak..maybe im infected..im not clen,my heart is gloom..n i dont even know why im writting this crap,im feeling even more depressed..i just wish he was here,maybe he could do something to cheer me up..im in desperate need of contact with other human being,,im not gonna reread what the crap i just wrote..4 da 1st time,i just gonna ignore..it's not like there is a single living human who cares anyway..